Special Entry

"I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process."

This is in the very beginning of the last chapter of The Grief Observed by C.S Lewis. The Grief Observed is a compilation of C.S Lewis' journals and writings as he grieved the loss of his beloved wife. C.S Lewis is a renown theologian and a trained thinker. He wrote scores of books, fiction and non-fiction, detailing all aspects of life, God, thought and love. The Grief Observed was one of his last books and I believe truly summarized this incredible man of faith and the life he lived for the Lord. He expressed deep emotion and journaled throughout all his stages of grief, anger, doubt and redemption. For an apologetic and hero of the Christian faith, it is amazing to me how vulnerable he let himself be in his book. His honesty, intellect and faith is why I love his writing and I believe The Grief Observed was C.S Lewis' mind at it's best and worst.

The Grief Observed has, like all art, nearly endless meanings. Three major themes of the writing are grief, love and faith. "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear" Lewis writes. After the loss of his wife, whom he refers to as H, C.S Lewis felt anger and confusion. He asked the same questions we all ask at some point. Mainly, why? In all his other writing he has always been a man to have known the answers and he was always quick to attack any logical flaw, but when he found himself in the midst of fear and grief he began to doubt. When he sought God he felt like God had “shut the door and locked the bolts.” Meaning he knew God was there, but he couldn't hear God, he could no longer trust the Lord.

He has such a unique mind and I believe only C.S Lewis himself could critique his thoughts so well. This sets the mood for the entire chapter. A chapter of reflection, honesty, and an overwhelming feeling of joy and peace. This chapter brings a solid conclusion to the book, and C.S Lewis' journey of grief. He leaves the reader feeling completed knowing God is in control. And he goes back to sort out the mess he made of the readers mind. (All the theological questions, all the doubts, all the fears and uncertainty.)

"The notes have been about myself, and about H., and about God. In that order. The order and the proportions exactly what they ought not to have been."

For a man of Lewis' stature to admit he was off base is revolutionary. His wisdom and humility is overwhelming. This is one of my favorite quotes from the book. I'm not sure why. I guess it's just great to read this after three chapters of alot of hopelessness.

"Thus up from the garden to the Gardener, from the sword to the Smith. To the life-giving Life and the Beauty that makes beautiful."

Much like the quote above this takes the attention of C.S Lewis, H. and the awkwardness and puts the focus back on God. The quote just makes me smile. This is was a great read.


His mind and clarity of thought makes me wish I knew myself better. C.S Lewis is one smart cookie and A Grief Observed is one great read.






C.S Lewis

C.S Lewis has been one of my favorite authors since I began reading. His writing encountered me at a crucial time in my life and God used them in a big way. My first encounter with C.S Lewis was with the Chronicles of Narnia. I got my first detention in 6th grade and my dad handed me the 5 pound book and told me not to come out of my room until I read it all. After many hours of whining and a few minutes of reading I managed to find myself outside of those off-white walls. The talented author came back into my life a few years later. It was my senior year of high school and I was just finding who I was in the Lord when I began reading. When my father became a Christian he ordered a huge box of old books offline from a theology student long ago. The books contained nearly all of C.S Lewis writings. I started with Mere Christianity and was dumbfounded by every chapter. God spoke to me through his writing and taught me so much about thinking logically about the faith. I believe he was an author of infinite wisdom and I admire his passion for the Lord. I pick up Mere Christianity often and I am always lending it to friends trusting his writing will help them as much as it did me. His honesty, philosophy, testimony and thoughts forced me to admire his writing. I was influenced by ‘The Weight of Glory’ and a daily devotional with excerpts from all his writings. I have not read ‘A Grief Observed’ but I am anxious to get started. I am a bit familiar with the story behind the book and I am fascinated by circumstances surrounding his marriage.